Did you
know the royal zygote already has a horoscope?
That’s right, Kate Middleton’s bump already has a personality
profile. For some reason, that bothers
me a little. All that expectation being
placed on the poor little thing before it even has fingernails.
They say Prince
William is a Cancerian. His mother, Diana, was Cancerian too. And her
grandchild is set to also belong to this sign. Babies born around the middle of
2013 will capture, in their horoscopes, the exceptional energy of seven rare
‘squares’ being formed from Uranus to Pluto. It will be over 60 years until the
world comes under such an awakening influence again. Horoscopically speaking
(yes, I did make that word up), it is believed the new heir to the throne will ‘play
a crucial part in a consciousness revolution that inspires the children of
tomorrow to create a dramatically different, far less fearful future.’ Yeah, no pressure there.
Lately,
I’ve been extremely fearful, so less fear sounds just grand to me. My car died last week and now I have to buy a
new one. That alone is enough to induce
sleepless nights. But, there’s more. In Ireland, as in most of Europe, most people
drive manual shift cars. I do not know
how to drive a manual shift. Automatics
are costly and difficult to repair. In
fact, there is only one place in the entire country that works on automatic
transmissions. So, a few friends have
been trying to teach me how to drive a manual shift car. The result is a complete FEAR CIRCUS. I’m absolutely no-frigging-good at it. None.
Not at all. The whole car thing
is making me so nervous, I jump at every little bump or noise. Yesterday, I had a nightmare during a day
dream.
So, you may
say, get over it and buy an automatic. Then the whole ‘we-can’t-repair-this’ scenario
will probably repeat itself all over again, at some stage. I live in the middle of nowhere. A car is imperative.
For the
longest time, I wanted to be the reclusive writer who lived by the lake. Far from the madding crowd. It was a dream packed with such passion and
drive that it kept me alive through some of the most emotionally challenging
events in my life (so far). Now I’m here
and delighted to have realized that dream all those years ago. But a funny thing happens when you get what
you wish for. It usually comes with an
unexpected lagniappe. [Lan-yap (noun) – gift with purchase;
something that is added.]
I’m
thinking Kate Middleton was probably eager to make a baby. But now she’s got morning sickness that
sounds more severe than radiation poisoning.
I wish
those horoscope experts would/could warn us about these little added
surprises. It might not change the
outcome, but it could ease the fear.
